Chart Farts® are Medical Malapropisms from Actual Hospital Charts
Medical errors aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
Wrong. ChartFarts.com is the home of funny medical charting errors, or chart farts®. A chart fart is a medical blooper of diction. Chart farts ® may come from patients or their families mispronouncing medical terms or from actual health care professionals who write, dictate, or transcribe these medical malapropisms in hospital charts.
GiggleMed.com contains thousands of original chart farts collected over a period of years. Here is a small sample of our collection:
- unresponsive and in no distress
- nonverbal, noncommunicative and offers no complaints
- irregular heart failure
- The need to maintain dialogue with the family regarding the appropriatenss of limiting futile care to the patient is noted
- his Hct is stable but dropping
- I don't want to be incubated again
- Indication for CXR - coffee bean emesis
- increased worriation
- V/Q scan was positive for low probability
- pt was apprehended and guarded
- pulses are fixed and dilated
- in asking about code status - do you want your wife to receive artificial insemination
- Xray report - Findings compatible with ileus. Bladder is still in colon
- be sure to check eyes and nose
- unemployed cashier
- Reason for leaving AMA - pt wants to live
- I had a kiwi on my chest
- dictated home O2, transcribed homo too
- I have hemorrhoids & the Fitzgeralds
- that bacterial virus is a doozy
- noncompliant smoker
- homodynamic compromise
- denies any rectal breeding
- Indication for an EGD (written by a physician) - "stomach hurt, swallow face in the morning, her poop is black & diabetes"
- fireballs in the uterus
- Reason for office visit - F\U chest rumbles
- partial TAH
- toxic screen
- Nursing notes in the ICU - "MD @ bedside attempted to urinate"
- titrate Tridil to pain
- Indication for flex sig - "blood when whipping himself"
- chicken pops
- depleted electrodes
- patient's anatomy not compatible with Texas catheter
- if she wants children, think about recommending birth control pills
- Discharge medications. The pt will be discharged on his discharge medications
- blood clogs
- Her chest pain started in her right leg and it went up her back
- Abd pain is relieved by Maalox & constipation
- Pt was fecally impacted @ the nursing home on April 12th
- antenna lung (atenolol)
- Since pt is a diabetic will keep a low threshold for suspicion
- not uncommonly non-diagnostic
- US prostate rule out hydronephrosis
- Ortho consult - "Recommend sling for comfort & pillows for sleeping"
- spucus
- pt expired and was dc'd home
- Pt has looked cachectic for the past 3 days
- She diuresed pretty well. I gave her 40 of Lasix and she put out 2000 liters.
- admitting dx="diarrhea and he won't sit up right"
- Harbor Tunnel Syndrome
- pregnizone
- My back has been hurting ever since they gave me that cauterizer. (Foley catheter)
- discharge dx=nephrolithiasis; discharge instructions="drink plenty of urine"
- on the top of an intern H&P; "source of information: self (poor historian)"
- Pt sitting on commode with family member brushing her hair
- SocHx (ICU admission presentation), "lives in funeral home."
- polynephritis
- holy systolic murmur
- Nursing home transfer notes - "C. diff negative, VRE nonnegotiable"
- per the NH staph
- Pt has had persistent vaginal breathing
- Pt sitting up comfortably, eating her lung
- hyena hernia
- In the past, I perpetrated my colon
- chief complaint - "bazaar behavior"
- retractable vomiting
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