Salamanders and Pregnant Wives

OK, so my wife is pregnant with #5. But, I have learned a lot since #1…

When we were med students, I made a comment that I thought she’d find funny. We were walking up a steep hill in the middle of Pennsylvania (an area I affectionately refer to as Pennsyltucky). My wife was 8 and a half months pregnant and visibly getting winded as we neared the top of the hill. I waited patiently… but waiting and silence, for me, is usually a bad combo. It’s usually a time that I try to make a joke – but not ideal because invariably, that’s a time when jokes are forced (and not spontaneous).

Nonetheless, I offered a point worthy of deep reflection… “Yeah, I know it must be tough, but at least we’re not salamanders. Apparently, some salamanders have a gestation period of up to 38 months.”

It didn’t go over well.

So, this time, with #5, I decided to get her some maternity humor gifts that I made with her in mind. No salamander references, though. (Click on the image if you know someone who might like these)

Here’s a sample from GiggleMed’s list of Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman:

• You might want to get off of that thing, I think there’s weight limit
• Did you ever see Alien?
• I see swollen people
• I’m sure you’re having a boy… Women become much more beautiful when they’re having girls
• When can I come by for the placenta?

I’ll post more in a few days. Got ideas? Post them in the comments section.