Some people eat, sleep, and drink medicine… eat, sleep, and drink nursing… eat, sleep, and drink surgery… or whatever their healthcare field is. They seemed to know what they wanted from the very beginning.

And these people can stress you out quite a bit. If you’re about to start your internship and you are still undecided about your future… or if you’re a nurse about to finish your clinicals and enter the work force… these Obi-Wan Kenobi types can be pretty annoying. (Gotta squeeze some Star Wars references in there… how could I not?… destiny?… Star Wars day?… anyway, click the audio and think of Good ‘ol Ben).

It would be nice if we could know who these people were before they even said a word… Introducing a new medical humor series from GiggleMed.com – a series of doctor jokes and comics related to subspecialty… Doctors of Destiny :)

Push it one more time… you know you want to…

It’s time for your mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers (with my snide comments in italics and parentheses)… Here’s another set of funny medical malapropisms for you. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• I had a bisectomy ’cause of all them damn kids (it’s a shame it wasn’t done a generation earlier)
• Condition on Transfer: Much better than on presentation
• Assessment: Palpitations – please see monitor (What’s next? Systolic murmur – go ahead and listen with a stethoscope)
• I had a cartridge taken out of my knee (I hear you get a rebate for recycling those at Staples)
• He is blind in his right prosthesis (Dude, everyone is blind in their prosthesis)
• Echo with tumor vs trombus (one of those Jamaican clots)
• Social history: He used to abuse drugs remotely (boy… the technology today…)
• ROS: Neurological – no ambition
• Based on lab data, he has a stable perianal itch. (Number 1 – Is an ‘itch’ ever stable? Number 2 – What lab data?!)
• Old Timer’s
• Oldheimer’s
• Discharge Diagnosis: Viral bacterial pneumonia
• Seashore disorder (We medical-types call them ‘seizures’)
• Chief Complaint: Responsive
• Admission diagnosis: Seizurettes (We medical-types call them ‘girly man seizures’)
• History of bipolar diarrhea (You should see the manic phase)
• Failure to dehydrate
• He could not stop vomiting diarreah
• Electric lytes
• Cardiac capitalization
• Follow up with vascular urine
• Increased aggitation to sedation
• Height: 163cm, Weight: 10.3Kg, BMI 3
• We did not repeat an EKG because we have an EF from a month ago.
• history of peripheral vascular disease in both lungs
• She has a drug addition problem (1 dose of painkillers = 2 dilaudids, 2 percocets, & a sniff o’ glue)
• O2 sat: 110% on room air
• His culture grew citrus bacteria
• Nosacomical pneumonia (Not so ‘comical’ to the hospital bean counters)
• A chest CT on the 10th was negative for intracranial hemorrhage
• Europathy (Thankfully, President Bush is recovering… after those Freedom Biotics)

Follow me on Twitter for some hilarious Chart Farts® and random medical funnies:

This video is a little predictable, but funny nonetheless. The bedside manner and the hair cut (or lack of one) add to the humor. But, it’s also a tad disturbing in that this guy doesn’t wash his hands.

This short, one-minute long, funny video parodies that internal competitive streak found among all of the healthcare professions. Doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, OR techs, house staff, and EMTs all have this phenomenon of “one-upmanship” when telling stories. Whether it is telling funny stories or recounting the events of a code or bragging about accomplishments, there’s always someone with something a little funnier, a little more disgusting, or a little more alarming. Check out this comical video:

OK. I’ve been compiling a list of funny doctors’ names. Yesterday I asked the help of some of my tweeps (friends on Twitter), so the list grew. The list is divided into three: (1) Interesting or kinda cool, (2) Specialty-name matches that are either funny or scary (especially those damn urologists), and (3) The No-Comment List. I have about 7 more that belong on the No-Comment List of Doctor names, but are way too far over the edge for me to post.

1 – Interesting or Kinda Cool Doctors’ names:

• Dr. Doctor
• Dr. Payne (there are lots of these)
• Dr. Blood
• Dr. Ricketts
• Dr. Stump
• Dr. Croke
• Dr. Killie
• Dr. Poke

2 – Funny specialty-name matches that are either funny or scary:

• Dr. Love (cardiologist)
• Dr. Schpritz (urologist)
• Dr. Di(ana) Mort (oncologist)
• Dr. Plack (cardiologist)
• Dr. Slaughter (surgeon)
• Dr. Zipper (urologist)
• Dr. Moorkath (cardiologist… it’s all about the procedures, baby)
• Dr. Klutz (surgeon)
• Dr. Fingers (gynecologist)
• Dr. Richard Chopp (urologist… don’t believe me? click the link)
• Dr. Blinder (ophthalmologist)
• Dr. Nudelman (urologist)
• Dr. Butt (gastroenterologist)
• Dr. Redwood (urologist… no, not a veterinary urologist… get your mind outta the gutter)

3 – The No-Comment Doctors’ Names List:

• Dr. Young-Hyman
• Dr. Fatterpaker

Thanks again for all of your contributions. Here’s an article from American Medical News with some names I didn’t list and with more info about Dr. Richard Chopp’s marketing efforts. Dr. Chopp, if you happen to read this, I’d love to interview you for our GiggleMed Medical Humor Blog readers.

OK, it’s time to revisit Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Last time, we looked at nurses. But this time we’re going to examine some habits of those doctors that get right under our skin, the annoying ones that everyone complains about, the doctors that are nowhere to be found in Mr. Covey’s book. Just to help you identify the people we are talking about, here are the 7 Habits of Highly Annoying Doctors:

• Calling consults before even seeing the patient.
• Going on vacation without arranging coverage… assuming that residents or hospitalists will cover.
• Despicable penmanship.
• Using prohibited abbreviations (and then having the kahonies to get angry when nurses or pharmacists call them on it).
• Always being late for meetings, appointments, and important events. Always.
• Asking a staff member a question without greeting them first (“Hello”, “Excuse me”, “Pardon me”, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” no greeting what so ever, none).
• Introducing themselves as “Doctor” after another doctor initiates the introduction using their first name (Goes like this… “Hi, I’m John Smith, one of the ER docs here. Nice to meet you.” “Oh, Hi. I’m Dr. Snobwalla, Chief of Surgery.”)

Feel free to list their other annoying traits. Send me an email or just post a comment below. If there are any other professions… say NPs, PAs, EMTs, etc that you think need a list of their own, let me know. :0)

We’ve all heard of Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  But what about all of those people that we work with in health care?… you know… those people that are nowhere to be found in Mr. Covey’s book.  Just to make sure we’re all talking about the same people, here are the 7 Habits of Highly Annoying Nurses:

• Just calling “to let you know”.
• Writing “Doctor aware”.
• Saying, “It’s not my patient”.
• Referring to patients by their room numbers and not knowing their names.
• Smoke breaks.
• Waiting until the end of their shift to start their charting.
• Writing that they “read back” an order, when they did no such thing.

Feel free to add others for consideration.  Send us an email or just post a comment below.  For those annoying nurses that took offense to this post… two things: (1) If you do three or more of the above, you have no one to blame but yourself, and (2) the next post is one that you’ll love – The 7 Habits of Highly Annoying Doctors.  :0)

Check out this funny med school graduation speech… He touches on several disciplines and subspecialties, several personality types, and a bunch of doctor jokes. He also makes a serious comment that is right up GiggleMed’s alley – about combining empathy and (appropriate) humor when caring for patients.