Very funny video from a patient’s perspective on an emergency room visit. Comedian Brian Regan tackles triage, the pain scale, opiates, & the pain of childbirth.

The pain scale riff is awesome… (so run and tell that, JCAHO.)

By the way, check out the GiggleMed pain scale humor in the medical humor store.

Without question, the most famous quote from A Few Good Men came from the dialogue between Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise in the court room. Well, here’s a similar conversation, but this time, in an ER:

ER nurse: You want answers?

Intern: I think I’m entitled to them.

ER nurse: You want answers?

Intern: I want the truth!

ER nurse: You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth! Son, we work in an overcrowded ER that has patients in the halls. And those halls have to be cleared to make room for more sick people. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Brand New Intern? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for weekly hour requirements and you curse the Policy. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the speed with which patients are admitted, while inconvenient for you, probably saves lives.

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about in the resident’s lounge, you want me in this ER. You need me in this ER.

We use words like rapid response, code, DNR/DNI, triage… we use these words as the backbone to a night spent defending something. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to an intern who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very security I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a syringe and draw that stat blood yourself. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Intern: Did you cancel the code blue?

ER nurse: (quietly) I did the job the patient needed me to do.

Intern: Did you cancel the code blue?

ER nurse: You’re damn right I did!!

Science humor and infectious disease jokes… for some of these you’ll just groan. For others, if you laugh at them, you are never permitted to refer to anyone else as a “geek” or a “nerd” again. And if you like this video, you’ll love GiggleMed’s new book, “Bugs on Scrubs” – a great holiday gift for geeks like you – especially if they work in healthcare.

Not nearly as corny as some of the jokes above… Bugs on Scrubs is the new medical humor book about a knock-down, drag-out, open-up-a-can argument between a nurse and a doctor… It’s a great gift idea and it’s only 10 bucks. Get it now. Just click on this book:

Infection control humor for education?…

Evidence-based medicine cartoon books?…

What next? Agreement on healthcare reform?!

Look… the educational materials in the healthcare professions can be pretty dry, downright boring, and ultimately, awesome dust magnets. So, we’re trying to change things a little bit (and not without some controversy).

We’re releasing a new book today – a funny, witty, medical humor book with evidence-based advice on infection control practices. This isn’t some cute little healthcare limerick you post up at staff meeting… or some cheesy nursing clip art for bulletin boards that no one looks at…

No. This is Bugs on Scrubs, a hilarious argument between a nurse and a doctor about who is spreading infection – and an interesting, all-too-familiar twist at the end. We’re releasing it today at the pre-ISBN, pre-real-publication price of only 10 bucks.

Medical humor and medical education have a love child, Bugs on Scrubs, and it’s only 10 clams.

This thing is awesome for staff orientation, infection control initiatives, and getting those picky Joint Commissioners off your organization’s back. Oh yeah… and the holidays too. This book makes a great gift for nurses, doctors, hospital administrators, techs, therapists, and that dude that always wipes his nose right before he tries to shake your hand. Check it out.

I received an email from a fellow GiggleMed doc saying “You won’t believe it! I just passed a sign situated right in front of a cemetery that says ‘Nursing Home Ahead’”. I promptly emailed him back saying, “Please tell me you got a picture. Please.”

Well, his wife didn’t like it too much, but he took some time away from his family vacation in Massachusetts to go back and take this picture. It’s real… no PhotoShop… no nothin’.

It’s proof that if you graduate last in your marketing class, you can still get a job.

Check out the “From the Call Bell” magnet at the GiggleMed medical humor gift store.

Here’s the latest in the iHealth iPod Parody Series. The most recent iPod medical humor graphics put out there were iShock and iAGRA… now, we give you iVee…

In addition to trying to con you into buying some medical humor buttons, shirts, mugs, hats, etc with these iHealth designs, we’re also trying to build some anticipation of our release of a free iPhone/iPod app… a funny one of course.

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We’ve added a ton of iHealth eCards for you to send to new grads, dads, or, of course, if you just wanna make someone laugh. Here’s a video that explains how to get to and use the eCards. They’re completely free and they’re completely awesome. We’ve added a bunch more since this video was made, so go look for yourself.

Look… There is no NurseHog Day. No matter which day you wake up in Nurses Week… you only have six weeks left until the new interns arrive. So, enjoy those cheesy gifts… for the next 6 weeks anyway.

(Oh, and just for the record… I want to apologize to all of you who experienced my intern year. I am a much better doctor now, I swear.)

A serious reminder to patients out there… Interns are real doctors with a ton of knowledge. They are learning how to apply that knowledge, so it’s a little clumsy sometimes. Be patient and give them feedback.

A serious reminder to interns out there… “I don’t know but I’ll find out” is a good phrase to learn.

A serious reminder to nurses out there… Interns are not the enemy. Administrators are…just kidding

Next week is National Nurses Week.  Now I hope you’re prepared… Many of you will see some horrendous  “gifts” given by hospitals to the nursing staff.  To preempt these Nurses Week gift atrocities, here is a list of gifts you really should never give to a nurse on Nurses Week… actually, ever:

1 – An engraved bed pan

2 – Breath mints packaged in cute little specimen cups

3 – An ink stamper that reads: “Verbal order. Repeated and read back.”

4 – A coffee mug for the nurse’s station that reads: “JCAHO Schmayko”

5 – A coupon for free biohazzard tattoos

6 – The unveiling of yet another form for nurses to fill out “to make things easier”

7 – Buttons that read: “Doctor’s Little Helper”

Post some real-life ridiculous gifts you’ve seen in the comments below.

Watch for awesome freebies coming on Monday, May 4th for you to give away to your nursing friends and colleagues… just to say thanks during Nurses Week.