Look… There is no NurseHog Day. No matter which day you wake up in Nurses Week… you only have six weeks left until the new interns arrive. So, enjoy those cheesy gifts… for the next 6 weeks anyway.

(Oh, and just for the record… I want to apologize to all of you who experienced my intern year. I am a much better doctor now, I swear.)

A serious reminder to patients out there… Interns are real doctors with a ton of knowledge. They are learning how to apply that knowledge, so it’s a little clumsy sometimes. Be patient and give them feedback.

A serious reminder to interns out there… “I don’t know but I’ll find out” is a good phrase to learn.

A serious reminder to nurses out there… Interns are not the enemy. Administrators are…just kidding

It’s time for your mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers (with my snide comments in italics and parentheses)… Here’s another set of funny medical malapropisms for you. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• I had a bisectomy ’cause of all them damn kids (it’s a shame it wasn’t done a generation earlier)
• Condition on Transfer: Much better than on presentation
• Assessment: Palpitations – please see monitor (What’s next? Systolic murmur – go ahead and listen with a stethoscope)
• I had a cartridge taken out of my knee (I hear you get a rebate for recycling those at Staples)
• He is blind in his right prosthesis (Dude, everyone is blind in their prosthesis)
• Echo with tumor vs trombus (one of those Jamaican clots)
• Social history: He used to abuse drugs remotely (boy… the technology today…)
• ROS: Neurological – no ambition
• Based on lab data, he has a stable perianal itch. (Number 1 – Is an ‘itch’ ever stable? Number 2 – What lab data?!)
• Old Timer’s
• Oldheimer’s
• Discharge Diagnosis: Viral bacterial pneumonia
• Seashore disorder (We medical-types call them ’seizures’)
• Chief Complaint: Responsive
• Admission diagnosis: Seizurettes (We medical-types call them ‘girly man seizures’)
• History of bipolar diarrhea (You should see the manic phase)
• Failure to dehydrate
• He could not stop vomiting diarreah
• Electric lytes
• Cardiac capitalization
• Follow up with vascular urine
• Increased aggitation to sedation
• Height: 163cm, Weight: 10.3Kg, BMI 3
• We did not repeat an EKG because we have an EF from a month ago.
• history of peripheral vascular disease in both lungs
• She has a drug addition problem (1 dose of painkillers = 2 dilaudids, 2 percocets, & a sniff o’ glue)
• O2 sat: 110% on room air
• His culture grew citrus bacteria
• Nosacomical pneumonia (Not so ‘comical’ to the hospital bean counters)
• A chest CT on the 10th was negative for intracranial hemorrhage
• Europathy (Thankfully, President Bush is recovering… after those Freedom Biotics)

Follow me on Twitter for some hilarious Chart Farts® and random medical funnies:

This video is a little predictable, but funny nonetheless. The bedside manner and the hair cut (or lack of one) add to the humor. But, it’s also a tad disturbing in that this guy doesn’t wash his hands.

This short, one-minute long, funny video parodies that internal competitive streak found among all of the healthcare professions. Doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, OR techs, house staff, and EMTs all have this phenomenon of “one-upmanship” when telling stories. Whether it is telling funny stories or recounting the events of a code or bragging about accomplishments, there’s always someone with something a little funnier, a little more disgusting, or a little more alarming. Check out this comical video:

OK. I’ve been compiling a list of funny doctors’ names. Yesterday I asked the help of some of my tweeps (friends on Twitter), so the list grew. The list is divided into three: (1) Interesting or kinda cool, (2) Specialty-name matches that are either funny or scary (especially those damn urologists), and (3) The No-Comment List. I have about 7 more that belong on the No-Comment List of Doctor names, but are way too far over the edge for me to post.

1 – Interesting or Kinda Cool Doctors’ names:

• Dr. Doctor
• Dr. Payne (there are lots of these)
• Dr. Blood
• Dr. Ricketts
• Dr. Stump
• Dr. Croke
• Dr. Killie
• Dr. Poke

2 – Funny specialty-name matches that are either funny or scary:

• Dr. Love (cardiologist)
• Dr. Schpritz (urologist)
• Dr. Di(ana) Mort (oncologist)
• Dr. Plack (cardiologist)
• Dr. Slaughter (surgeon)
• Dr. Zipper (urologist)
• Dr. Moorkath (cardiologist… it’s all about the procedures, baby)
• Dr. Klutz (surgeon)
• Dr. Fingers (gynecologist)
• Dr. Richard Chopp (urologist… don’t believe me? click the link)
• Dr. Blinder (ophthalmologist)
• Dr. Nudelman (urologist)
• Dr. Butt (gastroenterologist)
• Dr. Redwood (urologist… no, not a veterinary urologist… get your mind outta the gutter)

3 – The No-Comment Doctors’ Names List:

• Dr. Young-Hyman
• Dr. Fatterpaker

Thanks again for all of your contributions. Here’s an article from American Medical News with some names I didn’t list and with more info about Dr. Richard Chopp’s marketing efforts. Dr. Chopp, if you happen to read this, I’d love to interview you for our GiggleMed Medical Humor Blog readers.

Get medical humor, nursing jokes, funny doctor stories, and health care bloopers by following @GiggleMed on Twitter. You can “follow” these funny micro-blog posts whenever and how ever you want. Here are some sample posts:

Follow GiggleMed and Get Chart Farts® on Twitter. Signing up for Twitter is free. Join now by clicking on this “Follow ME on Twitter” icon below:

OK, it’s time to revisit Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Last time, we looked at nurses. But this time we’re going to examine some habits of those doctors that get right under our skin, the annoying ones that everyone complains about, the doctors that are nowhere to be found in Mr. Covey’s book. Just to help you identify the people we are talking about, here are the 7 Habits of Highly Annoying Doctors:

• Calling consults before even seeing the patient.
• Going on vacation without arranging coverage… assuming that residents or hospitalists will cover.
• Despicable penmanship.
• Using prohibited abbreviations (and then having the kahonies to get angry when nurses or pharmacists call them on it).
• Always being late for meetings, appointments, and important events. Always.
• Asking a staff member a question without greeting them first (“Hello”, “Excuse me”, “Pardon me”, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” no greeting what so ever, none).
• Introducing themselves as “Doctor” after another doctor initiates the introduction using their first name (Goes like this… “Hi, I’m John Smith, one of the ER docs here. Nice to meet you.” “Oh, Hi. I’m Dr. Snobwalla, Chief of Surgery.”)

Feel free to list their other annoying traits. Send me an email or just post a comment below. If there are any other professions… say NPs, PAs, EMTs, etc that you think need a list of their own, let me know. :0)

I was thinking… then, I got to wondering… What would some of my favorite shows as a kid have looked like through the eyes of a specialist? I mean, everywhere I look I feel like I’m seeing medical disorders… so, what do the specialists see?

Dukes of Biohazard	ID
Butts Happening	GI
Flabby Days	Bariatrics, Endo
Nosie and the Pussycats	Allergists
Stuperman	ICU, Toxicology, Addiction med, Anesthesia
Pooperman	GI
PeeMan & the Masters of the Universe	Urology
Fatman (and Shoppin’)	Bariatrics, Endo
C*A*S*H	All
99232	Billing

Got some more to add to the list? Post them in the comments below…

Imagine a FaceBook or a MySpace that centers around a theme you enjoy… You obviously find health care humor amusing or you wouldn’t be on this page, reading this post. GiggleMed.com is dedicated to relieving stress and burnout for health professionals through the use of humor. But why should you just wait for us to make something funny? You can add to the medical humor world yourself, by posting stuff you find funny or interesting. Here’s how…

It’s GiggleMed’s Medical Humor Social Network through a service called Ning. Here’s how it works. You join for free, choose a user name, and then start building you page/profile with easy-peasy built-in widgets.

You can set up a fully customizable profile with a funny photo, some basic information and everything you’ve contributed to the network. Your “friends” within the medical humor network can subscribe to your material and posts. Or they can just browse your profile and see what you found funny.

You can create groups inside of the social network around hobbies, interests, affinities, geographical locations and more. Imagine the fun you can have with old nursing school buddies, medical school friends, colleagues within your residency program, or other workers in your hospital.

You can get people talking. Start a discussion on any topic and watch other members respond with posts, photos and attachments.

Upload original footage or share videos from popular video services like YouTube, Google Video and Vimeo. You can see GiggleMed videos here before they are released to the public. And you can post your own. No complex scripts to learn, no programming languages to sift through… all easy clicks to have your friends laughing.

Find more videos like this on Medical Humor

You can post photos and organize them into albums. You can show off your photos in galleries or slideshows.

Find more photos like this on Medical Humor

You can use a Medical Humor “network badge” to display your stuff on your MySpace profile, blog or website. And you can share photos, videos and music from the social network on your Facebook profiles.

View my page on Medical Humor

It’s a lot of fun… join today.

• When will I be able to write myself prescriptions?
• I found the MCATs to be easier and easier each time I took them.
• Who will drive us home if we are too tired post-call?
• Paternalism is ready for a comeback.
• Under what circumstances can I call in sick?
• What are the minimum requirements for me to graduate?
• To be honest, I just want drug rep pens.
• That’s what nurses are for.
• When will we cover generating multiple streams of income with cross-referrals and owning our own diagnostic equipment?
• I love the smell of [insert body fluid here] in the morning.
• Have they started making Cliffs Notes for medical texts yet?
• I don’t have a problem with being on-call, but every so often I’ll have to check in with my parole officer.
• Of course, after med school and residency, they’ll have to have insurance.
• DNR… doesn’t that stand for “Do Not Respond?”
• Does the 80-hour limit apply to med students yet?
• How often is lunch provided?
• The voices told me that this is the place that all would be fulfilled.
• My favorite blogs are GiggleMed.com and Med School Hell.
• In addition to being a shaman, I am working on a book that exposes the perils of the Western
  Health-Industrial Complex.
• Antibiotics. Antivirals. Antifungals. Anti-this. Anti-that. When are we going to live in harmony with these bugs?
• It wasn’t really drug-dealing… Let’s just say that I was self-employed.

Here’s a prettier version you can print (but with a slightly shorter list):

Med School Interview – 19 Things You Should Not Say – Upload a Document to Scribd

Got some of your own? Post them in the comments below…