AED/CPR Awareness Week is the first week in June. That’s this week. So, I’ve been thinkin’ (yeah… scary…)

What would it look like if Apple teamed up with Google Health and Microsoft Health Vault… and Guidant, Johnson & Johnson, Boston Scientific… and the Red Cross… and your GPS system? (Can’t we just all get along?) Could you imagine the possibilities?

I mean, if you ignore the death of privacy and the possibility of lawyers performing keyword searches through medical records (iSue), it would be pretty cool.

So, in honor of the possibilities, GiggleMed.com has chosen to release it’s iHealth Humor Series during AED-CPR Awareness Week. All week, we’ll show you new iHealth/iPod possibilities… with parody and humor, of course.

If you teach ACLS or work in the ER or as an EMT, you’ll love the fact that these hilarious medical humor designs are available on all kinds of gifts… gifts for the one who has everything.

If you found this funny and you’re on Twitter, then tweet it now (& follow me at the same time)…

AED and CPR Related Links:

• 2009 CPR/AED Awareness Week Media Resources
• CPR Week from the AHA - donate, take classes, and more
• Medical News Today Announces CPR-AED Awareness Week
• Importance of Learning CPR from TheDirtyShirt Blog

Medical humor comes in all forms. And we love most of it… but the funniest of all medical humor seems to be that stuff that is real, and at the same time embarrassing, yet harmless. Chart Farts® are just that…

Medical malapropisms that were really put on charts or said by health practitioners or patients… And with the exception of an occasional reader becoming incontinent, no one was hurt by the error.

Here’s Chart Farts ® Issue #2 posted on YouTube…

There are many ways for you to enjoy Chart Farts®

• Chart Farts homepage
• Chart Farts Blog Posts - GiggleMed’s “chart farts” category for blog posts
• Chart Fart Art Posts - GiggleMed’s “chart farts” put to funny healthcare comics
• Medical Humor Tweets - Follow @GiggleMed on Twitter
• Funny Healthcare Videos on YouTube
• Medical Malapropisms on Squidoo
• Chart Farts Gifts - funny gifts - hats, mugs, stickers, bags, t-shirts, and more
• Chart Farts are also available in fortune cookies for large events… soon to opened up to everyone, even as single gifts

In the midst of an emergency it is important to break things down for easy understanding. Instead of analyzing each morsel of minutiae… sometimes we just need to say it like it is. No pontificating… no lengthy sit-downs with medical journals… no procrasterbating about what to do or what it all means… Say it like it is and make a decision.

Healthcare bears many similarities to the Star Wars saga… and the proof is in the pudding (see Types 6 and 7 below).

GiggleMed.com finally caught up with Admiral Ackbar and asked him to give us his thoughts on the Bristol Stool Chart. And, well… He answered immediately… There was no constipation of thought.

Nor was there any diarrhea of words. He was succinct. He said only three.

Other Star Wars Parody Sites:

• Robot Chicken Star Wars Parody Videos
• Admiral Ackbar on Twitter
• Scrubs Star Wars Parody on YouTube
• Got more? Send me your links.

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Oh… and here’s the original “It’s a Trap!” Scene (but I’m not so sure he’s not saying, “It’s a Crap!”… Listen for yourself):

It’s time for your mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers (with my under-the-breath side-comments in italics)… Here’s another group of funny medical malapropisms for you. All of these are from real hospital charts. Not ideal, but true… Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• Analpril 1.25mg Q8hrs (Is that for hyper-sphincter-tension?)
• Nasal packaging
• Nasal fungal cream
• He lives with his finance (So… are you thinking about your patient or the stock market?)
• Retrocele (Now in paisley!)
• Secular aneurysm (Will need intervention from the Surgical Right)
• She is on 93 Liters of oxygen (All of the latest hospital facilities come with wind tunnels)
• Wingworms (Sounds like something from the Princess Bride)
• Bypolor
• He has recently been on both aspirin, Plavix, prednisone, and Coumadin
• “Pain med: “”given”" Where/route: “”in room”" (Well… Thank you Nurse Sherlock)
• Breeding ulcer (No comment… uh… ok, one comment… We should discuss strategies on lower k values.)
• ROS: Unobtainable secondary to patient’s mental status change and I am unable to follow commands. (I bet)
• Chief complaint: Clogged tube (You’re gonna have to be a little more specific)
• Chief complaint: uncontrollable bowel movement (Like that damn pink little bunny with the drums)
• Uncontrolled left labrial cellulitis
• Buttock, lower back, and neck pain from assa (I’m not quite sure what assa is, but it should probably be taken off of the market)
• Chief complaint: Debility
• Pericardial tachycardia
• Reason for ER visit: Dates and anatomy (Dude, now that’s high risk behavior if I ever heard it)
• History of psychoptosis (Doesn’t it sorta suck when your brain explodes?)
• History of bump bleedin
• chronic obesity (As opposed to the much more shocking acute form)
• Will sue high dose furosemide to force diuresis
• Hide-a-scan
• Bi geminis (Not that there’s anything wrong with that… at least if your EF is okay)
• History of grouch in my feet (Grouch, gouch, the gout… it’s all the same)
• Mr. H is an 823-year old Caucasian male patient who was actually transferred here from another hospital.
• Bariatric enema (Every nurse’s nightmare)

Follow me on Twitter for some hilarious Chart Farts® and random medical funnies:

Click the Twitter button above… or, better yet, Follow me and retweet all with one click with Viral Tweets below…

Some people eat, sleep, and drink medicine… eat, sleep, and drink nursing… eat, sleep, and drink surgery… or whatever their healthcare field is. They seemed to know what they wanted from the very beginning.

And these people can stress you out quite a bit. If you’re about to start your internship and you are still undecided about your future… or if you’re a nurse about to finish your clinicals and enter the work force… these Obi-Wan Kenobi types can be pretty annoying. (Gotta squeeze some Star Wars references in there… how could I not?… destiny?… Star Wars day?… anyway, click the audio and think of Good ‘ol Ben).

It would be nice if we could know who these people were before they even said a word… Introducing a new medical humor series from GiggleMed.com - a series of doctor jokes and comics related to subspecialty… Doctors of Destiny :)

Push it one more time… you know you want to…

Look… There is no NurseHog Day. No matter which day you wake up in Nurses Week… you only have six weeks left until the new interns arrive. So, enjoy those cheesy gifts… for the next 6 weeks anyway.

(Oh, and just for the record… I want to apologize to all of you who experienced my intern year. I am a much better doctor now, I swear.)

A serious reminder to patients out there… Interns are real doctors with a ton of knowledge. They are learning how to apply that knowledge, so it’s a little clumsy sometimes. Be patient and give them feedback.

A serious reminder to interns out there… “I don’t know but I’ll find out” is a good phrase to learn.

A serious reminder to nurses out there… Interns are not the enemy. Administrators are…just kidding

Next week is National Nurses Week.  Now I hope you’re prepared… Many of you will see some horrendous  “gifts” given by hospitals to the nursing staff.  To preempt these Nurses Week gift atrocities, here is a list of gifts you really should never give to a nurse on Nurses Week… actually, ever:

1 - An engraved bed pan

2 - Breath mints packaged in cute little specimen cups

3 - An ink stamper that reads: “Verbal order. Repeated and read back.”

4 - A coffee mug for the nurse’s station that reads: “JCAHO Schmayko”

5 - A coupon for free biohazzard tattoos

6 - The unveiling of yet another form for nurses to fill out “to make things easier”

7 - Buttons that read: “Doctor’s Little Helper”

Post some real-life ridiculous gifts you’ve seen in the comments below.

Watch for awesome freebies coming on Monday, May 4th for you to give away to your nursing friends and colleagues… just to say thanks during Nurses Week.

You will be as happy as a pig in mud to know up front what this post is NOT going to be… It will not have jokes about BMI or obesity. There will be no mention of police officers… no talk of bringing home the bacon. Even if swine flew, I would have nothing to say about government spending or the fat cats on Wall Street. You can wait until the mad cows come home and there will be no mention of mast cells with heparin… and certainly no talk of an Aporkalypse.

So, here’s my public service announcement: Don’t panic… although the pig is out of the bag, so to speak, have you ever stopped to wonder what would happen if we did a news media play-by-play of the spread of any normal flu season? I bet it would be pretty scary. A play-by-play in sports is exciting… in infectious disease news it’s frightening.

Anyway, I really hesitated to post this swine flu comic in case it does become worse than most of us in healthcare think it will be. The pig had my tongue, but here it goes. I’ve chosen to balance this comic with some serious resources. See the links below the comic. And for crying out loud… Wash your hooves.

Other fun swine flu humor:

• Decorated Mexican Flu Masks
• CONTEST: Name the Swine Flu Cake, Win This Chocolate Pig!
• You’ve Killed Us All - this one cracks me up
• Swine Flu Humor Gifts

On a serious note… here are some reliable H1N1 (formerly “swine flu”) resources:

• CDC Clinician Guidance for Patients
• CDC General Info on H1N1 or Swine Flu
• CDC Reports and Publications
• WHO Influenza A H1N1 Resources